Its Different

Its different not having that place of safety
it different not being reminded what you are fighting for
Its different not being able to know you could ask
for a hug and that its okay to show your tears to at least one person.
Its different no one can tell what you are feeling
without asking,

It feels lonely, isolate
cant  fully verbise
what I'm feeling or thinking.
I feel cold again
just back into the darkness
becoming less human has the days go on.
theres support bit its not the same
its a strange to me
and I don't know if I can fully trust it.

Its a shut down
no words are able to come out
the hood goes up
just want to curl into a ball
no one will notice anyway.
Just shut down
with only music keeping me company
it wont matter.

ts different not knowing who to ask
not knowing where it is safe to show any emotions
not feel safe to ask for a hug
when it is really needed.

Shut down
lonely and cold
stumbling through the day.